Tear Down Shame

Shame only exists by keeping you  suffering in silence. When you speak truth, shame can't exist.
Transparency is the new sexy 💓
Know what energy you're working with.  Heal one another by coming together. Not apart.💓

For the Love of Self.

What do you completely and totally love about YOUR human being?

After many years of suffering with low self esteem and self worth, I know how vitally important it is to have a loving and healthy relationship with myself. This is something most young girls and women have suffered with or still suffer with.

Self Love IS the quintessential key to living a life you love and manifesting the desires of your heart.
Nothing can truly form and stand on a solid foundation until the relationship you have with SELF has grown, matured, and transformed out of love, kindness, and tenderness from all your life's experiences.

What I know now is that until I became completely and totally in love with my HUMAN BEING, I made choices trying to find someone, something, that could give me what I didn't truly have for myself. Love. Passion for life. Drive. True Desire... the list goes on.
I thought all of those things and the experiences born from those things, were attached to another person.
I thought I had to seek out these experiences instead of realizing these experiences are birthed from within myself.

The foundation I was creating for a solid and beautiful life, that was fulfilling and able to withstand any turmoil or challenges was cracked and rocky. From this place, I made choices settling for the best I thought I could get, have, and deserved.
I didn't know anything. (Beginning of wisdom, as my mother says)

What I've always known was that my HEART was good. My intentions for life, love, and people...no matter who you are, was utterly pure and good.
 Everything about me and around me could be a complete and total disaster but I had SOMETHING I could hold on to, my secret, that I learned to keep private and tucked away, safe from the rest of the world, the capacity my heart had to love just about anything.

And that love...was freakin' HUGE!!

Once I learned that not everyone had this going for them, due to my beautiful and yet disastrous, at times,  run in's with other human beings, I became guarded and unwilling to share the love anymore. In turn, failing to give my heart the full experience of love from any source.

After years of experiencing experiences from this low vibe, heart suffocating place, I got with God and went to work on healing from the things that broke me. Jesus, that was painful.
However, by being broken open again, with the help of God, through the release of all past pain and heartache, I was able to begin forming a complete and total love affair with myself... creating a stable, steady, unshakeable foundation in my heart, mind, and soul.

During this process, I wanted everyone to disappear, go away, leave me ALONE, until my work with self was complete. HA. For the first time in life, I learned to be HAPPY, content, fulfilled in the presence of Myself. But truth is I was never really alone. I was completely happy in the presence of myself, God, and my spirit squad. When I finally started to emerge from the depth of my healing, I was aware, alert, and ready to have true and authentic human experiences with others.

This is what I encourage everyone who has settled for less than what they deserve... and if you have to question if what your experiencing in any situation is what you deserve....you deserve so much more than that. The capacity to experience what we truly deserve isn't even known to us until experiences from our heart's truest desire start manifesting things we didn't even know was possible for us....(maybe other people, but clearly not me was my thought...until now.)
Our new experiences create a domino effect of more experiences of true desire, thus, expanding on what we didn't even know was possible.
(And DON'T sabotage it, thinking its too good to be true so it couldn't possibly be real or last...it's not too good. It's exactly what you've been waiting for, want, and deserve...Thank God right!? About time.) :)

To assist with Self Love... Focus on the ONE thing you KNOW without a fiber of doubt is Good about you. Pure. Your hidden secret that you've learned to keep safe and tucked away.
Use it to give yourself the Love you deserve.



Whether it be standing in a mirror loving on every part of your body, even if you don't, start...until you get its worthy of the love you have neglected it.

Taking selfies of yourself and focusing on your AMAZING human vessel God blessed you with (because only YOU know that you've never felt as beautiful as what other people see.)

Saying kind words to yourself, respecting your own mind and voice, that way no one else's unkind words to you will be tolerated.

Whether its keeping note of the secret prayers you pray for others without them knowing.

(as a few of my examples)

Whatever is GOOD about you...start there....and when you come in to contact with others, interact from That place.


We, HUMAN BEINGS, need to remember that we are innately GOOD before we closed ourselves off due to hard life experiences.
I am very well aware that my soul and spirit is good...pure...a piece of God...but my human self.. that's completely different. That needed work :) That ego...that self worth of mine... phew.

And yet, when I focused on the Goodness of my Human nature, that ONE thing I knew and now actively know again is GOOD, I live out the life of a human being that genuinely cares about other human beings and creating more and more experiences of strong, loving, and lasting relationships to all of life, myself, and others.

BE Love. BE Beautiful.
LoveNElise.com

Healing Your Past Relationships For The Future Of Your New One. A Letter to The Ex.

To the Ex:

lt's not that I didn't love you. I did. I loved you with every piece of me that I could give to you at that time. I loved you the only way I knew how to love. And at that time, I didn't know any better. I didn't know there was any other way to love. I thought that the love we had was all there was.

" How did we fail when we loved each other so much?" You asked me this once. It's not just your fault you know?... Although, I didn't know it then.

What I didn't realize was I could give so much more. I could love so much deeper. 

What I didn't realize was that I couldn't give to you, what I hadn't yet given to myself.

 I couldn't give to you what I didn't even know was missing from me.

I know me better now. I see it very clearly.
I loved you. I still love you, just differently now. 

I love you for the times we had.

 I love you for being my greatest lesson. 

I love you for loving me the best way you knew how.

 I love you for helping me grow. 

I love you for being the reason I learned to love myself (even though we didn't know that's what was happening at the time.)

 I love you for so many reasons.

Without our relationship, I may have repeated the same mistakes over and over.
Loving you, you loving me, in the only way we knew how to love, unknowingly led me to the path of loving myself.

God, it hurt. And that hurt broke me, but it broke me in every way I needed to be broken, so I could be put back together in all the right ways.

What I realize is... I'll never take away from what we had for that time. It was real. As real as it could be. 

But until I became real with myself, love myself, appreciate my journey, embrace my heart ache, my mistakes...my human imperfection, and learn to love Me anyhow...I couldn't truly love myself, and I couldn't love you, in the way you would have needed me to love you in order for us to work.

Until I knew what love really was, what it was really made out of, and what I was truly made of, I expected you to take care of me in ways that only I could have  taken care of me.
And I didn't know why I wasn't being taken care of.

I didn't know you didn't have the capacity to be what I wanted or what I thought I needed.
I expected you to be something, I now know, you could never have been...not because of me but because of you. 

And I didn't know that trying to get you to be who you weren't ready to be wasn't fair to you or to me.

I didn't have what it took to continue fighting for us. 

To stay when it continued to get harder. 

To pray more when it felt more impossible by the day.

 I didn't have what it took to stand up for myself and to stand strong in my convictions for what I truly deserved because I didn't know what I truly deserved.
I expected you to know.
I expected you to see that I deserved better than what you gave me.
I expected that if I could change for you, make you happy, give you everything I had that you would be capable of doing the same for me in return. 

That you would see I was worth the love I always dreamt of...

Not knowing the love I always dreamt of was already in me. It was me. So I looked to you to validate me. Tell me I was doing a good job. But it never happened.
You weren't capable.

 I was just left depleted.
And I hated you for not treating me well. I blamed you for not knowing how to treat me.

But really, I blamed myself for not knowing how to treat me.
I blamed myself for staying so long.
I blamed myself for not seeing my own worth.

And now I know, I've always been worth everything. Without having to prove it.

I now know, it wasn't just your fault.

Through all that we went through, which is just as important, I realized I didn't have what it took to be strong for you, and your brokenness and unhealed areas, because I wasn't strong enough for myself yet. And for that I am sorry.

But you know what? That is okay. 

Why?

Because we weren't meant to last.

You were meant to prepare me.  

And I can only hope, that you know, I prepared you too...if you allow it. 

And perhaps that was the greatest purpose for our coming together.

 To heal each other and prepare each other.

Perhaps, we prepared each other for the one meant to last.

We didn't know it then, But I know it now...  you were the seeds that were planted in my now beautiful garden. 

The garden of my strength, my healing, and my undeniable self love.

Not to say I won't keep growing. Not to say new lessons won't come about. And not to say new areas that need to heal won't show themselves.
But because of us, I learned to do the work. 

I learned to be strong for myself. 

And now I have what it takes to be strong for someone else.

I learned my value and what I have to offer.

 I learned what I deserve and I learned to give it to myself first.
I learned when it's time to walk away and when it's time to stay.

And most importantly, I learned to hold the space for someone else and their broken pieces because I learned to hold the space for my own. 

And because of this, I will choose the one that is able to hold the space for mine as well. And we will be able to grow together.

And the good news is, if you learn from Us, you will do the same.
So thank you for the role you played in my life. 

Thank you for loving me the only way you knew how.
I love you. And can say goodbye to the past and say hello to the future without fear.
Love Always, NElise

You see, relationships are always going to teach you something.Some relationships will be life altering. They are created and designed from the heavens to be this way. It is always about healing and growth. When you love someone so much and have a connection so deep with them, you try to love them even through the pain you are feeling. You don't even understand why you can't let go, don't want to let go, even when you have to.
Sometimes you won't let go until letting go is the only option left....usually because you've allowed the relationship to get to a place of dislike or worse.

 In my case, especially, this was a soul mate connection. Soul mates come to be a mirror for you. They come to unveil all of your hidden wounds. They tend to be like you more than you're even willing to admit.
But it doesn't have to end badly. If you learn. 

Learning, healing, and rising is the only thing that makes your heartache worth it.

BE Love.

 Because love is the only thing that heals. 

Love people for who they were and why you loved them to begin with. 

Set them free in love and set yourself free to love again, so you can love the one meant to stay.

An evolved kind of Love. Commitment.

An Evolved kind of Love.

Now, I am one to believe that everything happens for a reason. Love fails, hearts get broken, etc. 

It's suppose to be this way.

What I also know is that each time this happens, it's a lesson for our growth and evolution.
Personally, each break and failure I've had, especially in love, I've grow, I've evolved, I've changed, and I've transformed.

And most importantly... Because this truly is the most important of the most important... And if you don't learn this, nothing I say will make a difference for your life anyway... 

I'm only half kidding. Anyway.

I've learned to love myself, listen to God, was willing to wait for His best for me, and learned to trust and follow the beat of my own heart more than anything or anyone.

Through that, I've learned to be confident in what I choose and why I choose it.

What I've learned in this ever evolving version of my now self is this...

COMMITMENT. And How IMPORTANT it  is.

In all things... But in my evaluation of my once upon a time self, my clients, my friends, absolute strangers that love sharing their stories with me... RELATIONSHIPS and our commitment to them is a HUGE topic of conversation.

So this is what I've come up with...

Perhaps there is always going to be someone more beautiful, more handsome, more talented, smarter, more creative, richer....the list goes on...than you or the one your with.

But regardless of all that, what if there's one heart that's designed with the capacity to love ALL OF YOU, every bit of you and your "stuff", as deeply as all of those things combined, in any of those people combined times..., I dunno, 1,000,000. ( because really those things are boringly superficial)

Perhaps if we are always searching for the next best thing, we end up with nothing at the end. And then later we wonder, what if...

What if, in the process of searching for the next best thing, we let go of or missed the very one created to give us the thing we needed and wanted the most?... An epic, undeniable kind of Love. A golden heart born and created to love  you in all the ways you only wish someone could love another human being.

How?  How could we miss this?

Because of this illusion that the grass is greener on the other side.

Because we begin our relationships on a rocky foundation stating "if something goes wrong or I become unhappy, I'm out..Deuces!"

Because we haven't spent enough time or had enough experience with ourselves to know what we really want anyway.

I mean, I get it, who really wants to "work" for a relationship right!? I mean, who really wants to fight for the one they claimed to have loved...right? This is a generation of fast, easy, and commitment phobia. Sorry, not sorry.

Really, this is Pathetic. And if you agreed. Shame on you, lol. Jk

The problem with relationships is not the relationship itself, the problem is in our thinking. The problem is  that people started thinking commitment was a suggestion.
 Refusing to remember the love they once felt and why they felt it. Refusing to truly give of themselves and invest in the Love that had them fall in love to begin with.

Instead of finding something new because the sparkle has worn off, or you hit a few bumps...or maybe even trenches along the way, how about renewing the sparkle that was once a flame burning deep within your heart and soul?

What if "breaking up" wasn't an option, what if it was completely off the table?

Perhaps we would find a way to remember what it was we loved to begin with and light a new fire with the one we are with?..

Maybe we would learn to fight a new way without the constant threat of leaving...

Just maybe you've learned to grow, evolve, and truly learn to love and be loved.

And if you haven't, perhaps if the one you are with is willing to fight the good fight with you, stay in the trenches of your healing and evolvement, and has made a commitment to you, let them, love them, and appreciate them. Because real love is rare in a world that wants the next best thing.
Stay committed to what you love. Even if it takes work. 

Confessions Of NElise: Perfectionism! (All the lies!��) VIDEO

Confessions of NElise: Perfectionism! (all the lies!)

Below is the assignment God gave me to do to go to work on healing myself. All the things that keep me from moving forwards on the path of Unconditional Love and light. All the things that would keep me from having authentic, self expressed relationships. The things that would keep me from loving totally and completely and receiving that love in return.

I am COMMITTED to doing the work for myself. In doing so, I it will affect those I love in return.

I am committed in seeing all my fragile parts and making them stronger.

If you can't clearly read my work, this is how you do the assignment:

Whatever you struggle with, whatever hurts your feelings...

WRITE IT IN THE CENTER OF THE PAGE

(EX: Mine says- Lies of my Perfectionism)

Then ALLOW yourself to see WHY you are a perfectionist...(or whatever your topic is)

(EX: My imperfection stems from the past... Not feeling good enough, being misunderstood, the desire to be liked, needing to look good to others, etc)

THEN, after you have written everything that comes up for you...

CENTER WHAT PERFECTIONISM (or your topic) LEADS you to or has led you to.

(EX; perfectionism leads to: fake relationships, comparing myself to others, procrastination, trust issues with myself and other, suppression of self, lack of self expression, unrealistic expectations of myself and others...etc)

LAST BUT NOT LEAST:

On a new piece of paper

CENTER "THE TRUTH ABOUT ME"

Then start expressing WHO YOU REALLY ARE,  YOUR TRUTH...the"imperfections" that make you who you are...(that you really need to love about you)

(EX: The truth about me... I'm goofy, I love hard, I'm smart, I have ADD, I'm a paradox, I'm dramatic and entertaining, I learn differently, I'm odd and out of the box, I'm a giver, and so on...)

THEN START LOVING YOU! From where you Are...and you'll soon be where you want to be.

6 months...

I had a prayer only God and I knew
When you'd come along I'd recognize you

I don't give myself away easily
Skeptical I knew i'd be
so I prayed to God that I wouldn't miss you
so he gave me a sign so I'd know the truth
6 months, God whispered, and you will know
your soul will feel what only you and I know.
Trust yourself
You've prayed this before.
Never have you missed him
Stay open once more

It was at 6 months that I knew-
I remembered my prayer
and I recognized you:

" May our 6 months turn to 6 years
that turn to 16 years
that turn to 60...
and when our time runs out
may our love in this life
exist into eternity
and return again in each life after
where we find each other and know
that our 6 months turned into forever
and repeats itself throughout history"

This was my prayer only God and I knew
and at 6 months I knew...
I'd made this prayer to recognize you
So our love could exists in every life
 forever through and through