An evolved kind of Love. Commitment.

An Evolved kind of Love.

Now, I am one to believe that everything happens for a reason. Love fails, hearts get broken, etc. 

It's suppose to be this way.

What I also know is that each time this happens, it's a lesson for our growth and evolution.
Personally, each break and failure I've had, especially in love, I've grow, I've evolved, I've changed, and I've transformed.

And most importantly... Because this truly is the most important of the most important... And if you don't learn this, nothing I say will make a difference for your life anyway... 

I'm only half kidding. Anyway.

I've learned to love myself, listen to God, was willing to wait for His best for me, and learned to trust and follow the beat of my own heart more than anything or anyone.

Through that, I've learned to be confident in what I choose and why I choose it.

What I've learned in this ever evolving version of my now self is this...

COMMITMENT. And How IMPORTANT it  is.

In all things... But in my evaluation of my once upon a time self, my clients, my friends, absolute strangers that love sharing their stories with me... RELATIONSHIPS and our commitment to them is a HUGE topic of conversation.

So this is what I've come up with...

Perhaps there is always going to be someone more beautiful, more handsome, more talented, smarter, more creative, richer....the list goes on...than you or the one your with.

But regardless of all that, what if there's one heart that's designed with the capacity to love ALL OF YOU, every bit of you and your "stuff", as deeply as all of those things combined, in any of those people combined times..., I dunno, 1,000,000. ( because really those things are boringly superficial)

Perhaps if we are always searching for the next best thing, we end up with nothing at the end. And then later we wonder, what if...

What if, in the process of searching for the next best thing, we let go of or missed the very one created to give us the thing we needed and wanted the most?... An epic, undeniable kind of Love. A golden heart born and created to love  you in all the ways you only wish someone could love another human being.

How?  How could we miss this?

Because of this illusion that the grass is greener on the other side.

Because we begin our relationships on a rocky foundation stating "if something goes wrong or I become unhappy, I'm out..Deuces!"

Because we haven't spent enough time or had enough experience with ourselves to know what we really want anyway.

I mean, I get it, who really wants to "work" for a relationship right!? I mean, who really wants to fight for the one they claimed to have loved...right? This is a generation of fast, easy, and commitment phobia. Sorry, not sorry.

Really, this is Pathetic. And if you agreed. Shame on you, lol. Jk

The problem with relationships is not the relationship itself, the problem is in our thinking. The problem is  that people started thinking commitment was a suggestion.
 Refusing to remember the love they once felt and why they felt it. Refusing to truly give of themselves and invest in the Love that had them fall in love to begin with.

Instead of finding something new because the sparkle has worn off, or you hit a few bumps...or maybe even trenches along the way, how about renewing the sparkle that was once a flame burning deep within your heart and soul?

What if "breaking up" wasn't an option, what if it was completely off the table?

Perhaps we would find a way to remember what it was we loved to begin with and light a new fire with the one we are with?..

Maybe we would learn to fight a new way without the constant threat of leaving...

Just maybe you've learned to grow, evolve, and truly learn to love and be loved.

And if you haven't, perhaps if the one you are with is willing to fight the good fight with you, stay in the trenches of your healing and evolvement, and has made a commitment to you, let them, love them, and appreciate them. Because real love is rare in a world that wants the next best thing.
Stay committed to what you love. Even if it takes work. 

Confessions of NElise: Perfectionism! (all the lies!)

Below is the assignment God gave me to do to go to work on healing myself. All the things that keep me from moving forwards on the path of Unconditional Love and light. All the things that would keep me from having authentic, self expressed relationships. The things that would keep me from loving totally and completely and receiving that love in return.

I am COMMITTED to doing the work for myself. In doing so, I it will affect those I love in return.

I am committed in seeing all my fragile parts and making them stronger.

If you can't clearly read my work, this is how you do the assignment:

Whatever you struggle with, whatever hurts your feelings...

WRITE IT IN THE CENTER OF THE PAGE

(EX: Mine says- Lies of my Perfectionism)

Then ALLOW yourself to see WHY you are a perfectionist...(or whatever your topic is)

(EX: My imperfection stems from the past... Not feeling good enough, being misunderstood, the desire to be liked, needing to look good to others, etc)

THEN, after you have written everything that comes up for you...

CENTER WHAT PERFECTIONISM (or your topic) LEADS you to or has led you to.

(EX; perfectionism leads to: fake relationships, comparing myself to others, procrastination, trust issues with myself and other, suppression of self, lack of self expression, unrealistic expectations of myself and others...etc)

LAST BUT NOT LEAST:

On a new piece of paper

CENTER "THE TRUTH ABOUT ME"

Then start expressing WHO YOU REALLY ARE,  YOUR TRUTH...the"imperfections" that make you who you are...(that you really need to love about you)

(EX: The truth about me... I'm goofy, I love hard, I'm smart, I have ADD, I'm a paradox, I'm dramatic and entertaining, I learn differently, I'm odd and out of the box, I'm a giver, and so on...)

THEN START LOVING YOU! From where you Are...and you'll soon be where you want to be.