Healing Your Past Relationships For The Future Of Your New One. A Letter to The Ex.

To the Ex:

lt's not that I didn't love you. I did. I loved you with every piece of me that I could give to you at that time. I loved you the only way I knew how to love. And at that time, I didn't know any better. I didn't know there was any other way to love. I thought that the love we had was all there was.

" How did we fail when we loved each other so much?" You asked me this once. It's not just your fault you know?... Although, I didn't know it then.

What I didn't realize was I could give so much more. I could love so much deeper. 

What I didn't realize was that I couldn't give to you, what I hadn't yet given to myself.

 I couldn't give to you what I didn't even know was missing from me.

I know me better now. I see it very clearly.
I loved you. I still love you, just differently now. 

I love you for the times we had.

 I love you for being my greatest lesson. 

I love you for loving me the best way you knew how.

 I love you for helping me grow. 

I love you for being the reason I learned to love myself (even though we didn't know that's what was happening at the time.)

 I love you for so many reasons.

Without our relationship, I may have repeated the same mistakes over and over.
Loving you, you loving me, in the only way we knew how to love, unknowingly led me to the path of loving myself.

God, it hurt. And that hurt broke me, but it broke me in every way I needed to be broken, so I could be put back together in all the right ways.

What I realize is... I'll never take away from what we had for that time. It was real. As real as it could be. 

But until I became real with myself, love myself, appreciate my journey, embrace my heart ache, my mistakes...my human imperfection, and learn to love Me anyhow...I couldn't truly love myself, and I couldn't love you, in the way you would have needed me to love you in order for us to work.

Until I knew what love really was, what it was really made out of, and what I was truly made of, I expected you to take care of me in ways that only I could have  taken care of me.
And I didn't know why I wasn't being taken care of.

I didn't know you didn't have the capacity to be what I wanted or what I thought I needed.
I expected you to be something, I now know, you could never have been...not because of me but because of you. 

And I didn't know that trying to get you to be who you weren't ready to be wasn't fair to you or to me.

I didn't have what it took to continue fighting for us. 

To stay when it continued to get harder. 

To pray more when it felt more impossible by the day.

 I didn't have what it took to stand up for myself and to stand strong in my convictions for what I truly deserved because I didn't know what I truly deserved.
I expected you to know.
I expected you to see that I deserved better than what you gave me.
I expected that if I could change for you, make you happy, give you everything I had that you would be capable of doing the same for me in return. 

That you would see I was worth the love I always dreamt of...

Not knowing the love I always dreamt of was already in me. It was me. So I looked to you to validate me. Tell me I was doing a good job. But it never happened.
You weren't capable.

 I was just left depleted.
And I hated you for not treating me well. I blamed you for not knowing how to treat me.

But really, I blamed myself for not knowing how to treat me.
I blamed myself for staying so long.
I blamed myself for not seeing my own worth.

And now I know, I've always been worth everything. Without having to prove it.

I now know, it wasn't just your fault.

Through all that we went through, which is just as important, I realized I didn't have what it took to be strong for you, and your brokenness and unhealed areas, because I wasn't strong enough for myself yet. And for that I am sorry.

But you know what? That is okay. 

Why?

Because we weren't meant to last.

You were meant to prepare me.  

And I can only hope, that you know, I prepared you too...if you allow it. 

And perhaps that was the greatest purpose for our coming together.

 To heal each other and prepare each other.

Perhaps, we prepared each other for the one meant to last.

We didn't know it then, But I know it now...  you were the seeds that were planted in my now beautiful garden. 

The garden of my strength, my healing, and my undeniable self love.

Not to say I won't keep growing. Not to say new lessons won't come about. And not to say new areas that need to heal won't show themselves.
But because of us, I learned to do the work. 

I learned to be strong for myself. 

And now I have what it takes to be strong for someone else.

I learned my value and what I have to offer.

 I learned what I deserve and I learned to give it to myself first.
I learned when it's time to walk away and when it's time to stay.

And most importantly, I learned to hold the space for someone else and their broken pieces because I learned to hold the space for my own. 

And because of this, I will choose the one that is able to hold the space for mine as well. And we will be able to grow together.

And the good news is, if you learn from Us, you will do the same.
So thank you for the role you played in my life. 

Thank you for loving me the only way you knew how.
I love you. And can say goodbye to the past and say hello to the future without fear.
Love Always, NElise

You see, relationships are always going to teach you something.Some relationships will be life altering. They are created and designed from the heavens to be this way. It is always about healing and growth. When you love someone so much and have a connection so deep with them, you try to love them even through the pain you are feeling. You don't even understand why you can't let go, don't want to let go, even when you have to.
Sometimes you won't let go until letting go is the only option left....usually because you've allowed the relationship to get to a place of dislike or worse.

 In my case, especially, this was a soul mate connection. Soul mates come to be a mirror for you. They come to unveil all of your hidden wounds. They tend to be like you more than you're even willing to admit.
But it doesn't have to end badly. If you learn. 

Learning, healing, and rising is the only thing that makes your heartache worth it.

BE Love.

 Because love is the only thing that heals. 

Love people for who they were and why you loved them to begin with. 

Set them free in love and set yourself free to love again, so you can love the one meant to stay.

An evolved kind of Love. Commitment.

An Evolved kind of Love.

Now, I am one to believe that everything happens for a reason. Love fails, hearts get broken, etc. 

It's suppose to be this way.

What I also know is that each time this happens, it's a lesson for our growth and evolution.
Personally, each break and failure I've had, especially in love, I've grow, I've evolved, I've changed, and I've transformed.

And most importantly... Because this truly is the most important of the most important... And if you don't learn this, nothing I say will make a difference for your life anyway... 

I'm only half kidding. Anyway.

I've learned to love myself, listen to God, was willing to wait for His best for me, and learned to trust and follow the beat of my own heart more than anything or anyone.

Through that, I've learned to be confident in what I choose and why I choose it.

What I've learned in this ever evolving version of my now self is this...

COMMITMENT. And How IMPORTANT it  is.

In all things... But in my evaluation of my once upon a time self, my clients, my friends, absolute strangers that love sharing their stories with me... RELATIONSHIPS and our commitment to them is a HUGE topic of conversation.

So this is what I've come up with...

Perhaps there is always going to be someone more beautiful, more handsome, more talented, smarter, more creative, richer....the list goes on...than you or the one your with.

But regardless of all that, what if there's one heart that's designed with the capacity to love ALL OF YOU, every bit of you and your "stuff", as deeply as all of those things combined, in any of those people combined times..., I dunno, 1,000,000. ( because really those things are boringly superficial)

Perhaps if we are always searching for the next best thing, we end up with nothing at the end. And then later we wonder, what if...

What if, in the process of searching for the next best thing, we let go of or missed the very one created to give us the thing we needed and wanted the most?... An epic, undeniable kind of Love. A golden heart born and created to love  you in all the ways you only wish someone could love another human being.

How?  How could we miss this?

Because of this illusion that the grass is greener on the other side.

Because we begin our relationships on a rocky foundation stating "if something goes wrong or I become unhappy, I'm out..Deuces!"

Because we haven't spent enough time or had enough experience with ourselves to know what we really want anyway.

I mean, I get it, who really wants to "work" for a relationship right!? I mean, who really wants to fight for the one they claimed to have loved...right? This is a generation of fast, easy, and commitment phobia. Sorry, not sorry.

Really, this is Pathetic. And if you agreed. Shame on you, lol. Jk

The problem with relationships is not the relationship itself, the problem is in our thinking. The problem is  that people started thinking commitment was a suggestion.
 Refusing to remember the love they once felt and why they felt it. Refusing to truly give of themselves and invest in the Love that had them fall in love to begin with.

Instead of finding something new because the sparkle has worn off, or you hit a few bumps...or maybe even trenches along the way, how about renewing the sparkle that was once a flame burning deep within your heart and soul?

What if "breaking up" wasn't an option, what if it was completely off the table?

Perhaps we would find a way to remember what it was we loved to begin with and light a new fire with the one we are with?..

Maybe we would learn to fight a new way without the constant threat of leaving...

Just maybe you've learned to grow, evolve, and truly learn to love and be loved.

And if you haven't, perhaps if the one you are with is willing to fight the good fight with you, stay in the trenches of your healing and evolvement, and has made a commitment to you, let them, love them, and appreciate them. Because real love is rare in a world that wants the next best thing.
Stay committed to what you love. Even if it takes work. 

Confessions of NElise: Perfectionism! (all the lies!)

Below is the assignment God gave me to do to go to work on healing myself. All the things that keep me from moving forwards on the path of Unconditional Love and light. All the things that would keep me from having authentic, self expressed relationships. The things that would keep me from loving totally and completely and receiving that love in return.

I am COMMITTED to doing the work for myself. In doing so, I it will affect those I love in return.

I am committed in seeing all my fragile parts and making them stronger.

If you can't clearly read my work, this is how you do the assignment:

Whatever you struggle with, whatever hurts your feelings...

WRITE IT IN THE CENTER OF THE PAGE

(EX: Mine says- Lies of my Perfectionism)

Then ALLOW yourself to see WHY you are a perfectionist...(or whatever your topic is)

(EX: My imperfection stems from the past... Not feeling good enough, being misunderstood, the desire to be liked, needing to look good to others, etc)

THEN, after you have written everything that comes up for you...

CENTER WHAT PERFECTIONISM (or your topic) LEADS you to or has led you to.

(EX; perfectionism leads to: fake relationships, comparing myself to others, procrastination, trust issues with myself and other, suppression of self, lack of self expression, unrealistic expectations of myself and others...etc)

LAST BUT NOT LEAST:

On a new piece of paper

CENTER "THE TRUTH ABOUT ME"

Then start expressing WHO YOU REALLY ARE,  YOUR TRUTH...the"imperfections" that make you who you are...(that you really need to love about you)

(EX: The truth about me... I'm goofy, I love hard, I'm smart, I have ADD, I'm a paradox, I'm dramatic and entertaining, I learn differently, I'm odd and out of the box, I'm a giver, and so on...)

THEN START LOVING YOU! From where you Are...and you'll soon be where you want to be.

I'm in a love triangle...

Can you be in love with more than one person at once? I've been asked this question many times. When it comes to love, I don't believe in hard, fast rules that will apply to every person, every situation, and their journey to romance. Each person has a different experience with love and the lessons it will come to teach them as they continue to walk it's path. Is it possible? Sure, why not. For some.

 However, I do believe, in my own personal experience, there is always a front runner when we force ourselves to look at the truth of our situation, which I will explain in a moment. I believe that we were created to love and be in romantic partnership with one person. As a little girl, teen, and into adulthood, I don't remember fantasizing about creating a beautiful life and having a wedding with two grooms, but that's just me. Personally, I just don't have enough energy or patience to deal with two relationships at once. Keeping one successful relationship is enough of a challenge, lol.

However, I believe we ALL have the capacity TO LOVE anyone and everyone if we choose to. We are beings created to love. Yet, there are great misunderstandings when it comes to if we, in fact, love someone or are IN love with someone romantically. Many people don't identify the distinction between the two. They may often feel they are the same. When we connect with someone on a heart and soul level, especially when it comes out of nowhere, we assume this connection is meant to be a romantic one, especially if we find this person attractive. Yet, this may not always be the case. There are many reasons people come in and out of our lives, many lessons we are meant to learn, many experiences and opportunities we are meant to create, but truthfully, who stops to ask themselves, why is this person coming into my life and actually hear the answer? Most don't. If there is  any attraction, we will most likely start dating or create a friendship to explore this connection. Normal right? Of course. Then we find out we have nothing in common, everything in common, or just enough in common to keep the attraction going.

But what happens if we start dating two people at once? Or worse, what happens if we are dating someone, and we meet someone else out of nowhere, a mutual connection sparks with this stranger, making us question how this happened when we were content in our other relationship? We don't want to just exit our relationship that we love but we do want to explore what this is and why it's happened. You get sucked into something that you didn't necessarily intend. Perhaps you thought, it would only lead to friendship and now you have developed feelings for this new person. Now you are stuck in a triangle. You're confused. Who do you choose? How did this happen? Did you really fall in love with someone else? Does that mean you don't love the person you are with already, maybe you never did? All these questions cause one big mess in your mind.

Stop and take a breath. Instruction number one.

This is a normal situation believe it or not. As I said, human beings are created to love. Share and spread love. Give and receive love. And NOT just for romantic purposes. Connections, whether from your heart, soul, or mind are there for a reason. We just need to distinguish which it is and not always make it mean it's for romance. There is a  difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone. As you can literally love anyone.

Here's the difference: Loving someone suggests there is a deep connection. A deep caring about a person and their life. You care about what happens to them. You think about them. You want the best for them. Most times you want to be around them. They add value to your life. You enjoy their company. There's a shared bond. The list goes on...the overall experience of this person tends to be a reciprocated and loving one. The love we share for them is based on  a seemingly equal exchange of commonalities, kindness, friendship, trust, etc,...

Or sometimes, it's based on  a sense of "should love." Should love being... We have a lot of history so I should love them... They've done a lot for me so I should love... They love me so I should love... Even if we don't necessarily like them, we have REASONS why we "should love" them, when in fact "should love" turns out to be the reason we may realize later on that we don't actually love them unconditionally...but that's another story.

So which is it? How do I know if I'm in love or just love? When you ask yourself, Do I love them or am I IN love with them, what comes up for you first? Maybe neither. Maybe you're not in love with either of them. The possibilities are endless. :)

Well, maybe the next question is "how would I know?" Well, your intuition will tell you if you don't over think the answer. The first answer you come up with in your head is usually the right answer before you start over thinking and ultimately confuse yourself.

Before my spiritual evolvement,  I THOUGHT that I was in love with two people at once when in fact I really wasn't. I loved one. Deeply. We had a connection that I felt in my soul, the attraction wasn't necessarily there but I convinced myself that because I loved him, I was supposed to be with him and attraction would come. I mean, you couldn't just walk away from that kind of connection, right? The other one, I loved. Not from a deep soul connection kind of way but a strong attraction. There was passion and excitement. Overtime, our relationship grew and so did our connection. Ultimately, I had to choose one. It always ends that way right? Inevitably you have to choose, or they will choose for you and you may be left with neither. Not such a bad thing sometimes.

Inevitably, I chose. They both taught me great lessons about myself. And yet, the end result was my relationship didn't last with either of them. And let me tell you, it was for the best.

Now, I love a lot of people and I am able to recognize the difference in my connections with people who come in and out of my life. I have deep soul connections with a select few people who have become my greatest friends and I love them with every bit of my heart and soul. They  are my soul mates for sure. Some I've been attracted to and some the attraction wasn't there. But the Love was undeniable. When this happened, it made me question if I was actually meant to give it a romantic go ahead. After some reflecting, I realized I just couldn't. Our relationship was not made for that purpose. It was made for something different and quite purposeful none the less.

So, Why do we have trouble distinguishing love from being in love?

Because love is powerful.  Quite frankly, it's so big that it tends to not make much sense to us, especially if we don't know that we can require specific answers of it. We typically don't think we can walk into love with our eyes wide open, choosing to fall in love. We think it's an emotion that overtakes us and we have no control. Well, maybe. And maybe not. However, we do have control. We control the questions we ask of love and we choose to see the answers it reveals. And it ALWAYS reveals what we ask if we are willing to see the truth.

"Okay okay," becomes the most common statement of my clients who have asked me these question and have then been schooled on how to identify the difference between love and in love. I smile of course, because there are so many scenarios that it could make anyone's head spin... and then the next statement is... "what do I do now? I'm already in this complicated triangle."

Good question...

So, how do we truly know which relationship is for us when we've found ourselves in this predicament? How do we get out of it once we've developed feelings for both people and they've returned those feelings?

It's a difficult situation, I will give you that, and yet the answer is relatively simple.

PICK ONE.  Or Pick NONE.

This brings me back to the front runner. When you find yourself in a love triangle, you may have truly convinced yourself that you are IN love with two people... maybe more if you're living your life like  you're on an episode of the bachelor/ette.

Yet, in reality, there is always someone who you feel more connected to. Someone more predominant. This is what I tell my clients: Answer immediately and Without hesitation... clear your mind and picture yourself in bed, turning over to kiss the one you love the most, who did you see?

Now, unless you see all 5 of your lovers in bed with you, you'll have your answer.  If you do see all 5 of your lovers in bed with you, perhaps you're just not a soul cut out for monogamy at this time. You might have some other deep rooted issues to be worked out and in that case, perhaps the only relationship you need to build on is the one with yourself.

There are many reasons we may get ourselves involved in a love triangle.

1) Fear of letting someone down- therefore we don't know how to break it off, even when we know in our heart we don't want to continue a relationship with that person.

2) Fear of actually having what we say we want- and when it actually shows up, we self sabotage.  This is a big one. Many times we will want something, pray for it, envision it, search it out, and inevitably get it. That's how the universe works. We get what we say we want. Yet, the predicament becomes if we get exactly what we want, the loss of losing it is greater. This causes us to project fear and we begin to convince ourselves it may not be what we really wanted. The pain of losing what we want may be greater than losing something we were not fully invested in, so to protect ourselves, we chose the one who may hurt us less subconsciously.

3)You like attention and want to be loved by many people- refer to "other deeply rooted issues" if this is you. :)

4)Each person has a little of what you feel you want and need. Therefore having both of them makes a whole person.... This is an illusion. Do yourself a favor. Don't choose either of them. No relationship should fill a need, just a want. If they aren't all of what you would want, they are not for you.

 

All in all, be fair to the person you choose to love. Put the shoe on the other foot. It may be hard to get out of a love triangle but how would you feel if the person you chose to be in love with, couldn't choose between you and someone else.  Romantic love should be shared between two people. A non competitive relationship. Honor yourself and honor the one you choose to love.

BE Love. BE Beautiful.

LoveNElise

 

Dear Lover...This Is Why I'm Ready For You Now...

Dear Lover...This Is Why I'm Ready For You Now...

 

Dear Lover,

I had a talk with my heart the other night. I told her I'm sorry. I asked her to forgive me for all the choices I made that broke her. I tried to find me through other people and in the process I made all the wrong choices. In fact, I lost me more than I found me.

My heart, She tried to warn me but I never listened. Love was what I wanted. It was what I'd find, no matter what. I was a hopeless romantic and fell in love easily. But...as easily as I fell was as easily as I broke. Over and Over.

I promised my heart, I'd listen this time. Clearly I wasn't meant to love. She's tried to protect me and now I have to protect her... She clearly knew love was painful. This was her warning all along. "Don't do it."

 I promised her I wouldn't fall in love, certainly not easily, but maybe never again. Anytime love came around, I turned it down. I was guarded, cautious, and suspicious. I didn't trust love or myself...and certainly not you. The one thing I loved the most, hurt me the most. Love. It's not what everyone says it is.

I've chosen to stay loveless but at least I'm not heartbroken...

Or was I?

Maybe I was wrong again... Maybe I'm heartbroken either way...loving and not loving...

Dear Lover, I fell apart one night... I fell on my knees and cried. I asked my heart, what she wanted from me? What did she want me to see?...

So, I had this talk with my heart... I told her I'm sorry. I asked her to forgive me for all the choices I made that broke her.

 She finally spoke back to me...

She replied: "Darling, you are enough... The love you seek begins and ends with you. I didn't protect you from them, I didn't protect you from love. I protected you from you. I guarded you, covered you, & protected you, from you, until you could find yourself. Until you realized you are enough and I know what I'm doing."

Dear Lover, that night changed my life. That night I decided to try falling in love one more time. That night I decided to be brave. I decided to fall in love with myself.

I decided to date me. I decided to fall in love with places I'd never been, explore places I've never seen. I walked on the beach alone. I climbed the highest mountain I could find. I reflected. I meditated. I decided to reach into the depths of my soul and do the work. I decided to heal my broken heart. I decided to transform my broken ideas and thoughts. I laughed a million times and cried a million more. I learned to laugh at myself, have a sense of humor, and not take things so seriously or personally. I took adventures. I got lost and didn't panic. GPS helped me get back to where I was supposed to be. I read new books. I studied. God, did I study. I learned that I hungered for knowledge. I loved all things spiritual. I loved science. I loved classic literature. I loved writing, studying, and teaching. I learned that I love high heels and dressing up, even with no place to go because it's how I feel my best. I learned that I like sneakers, yoga pants, and sweatshirt hoodies. I learned that either way I'm beautiful. I learned that it's okay to dance in your underwear and sing karaoke as loud as humanly possible. I learned to walk around naked and love the body that I never cared much for. I also learned that I liked to workout, not just because I look better naked but because I like feeling strong. I learned that I love red wine and Mexican food. I learned they don't go well together. I learned that anyone can give me a reason to smile but I'm the only one who can keep it. I learned that regardless of what anyone believes about me, what I believe about me is all that matters. I learned that I'm not perfect but I'm perfect for someone and I'm perfectly happy with who I am. I realized because of my heartbreaks I'm stronger than I thought and I'm proud of me.

Dear Lover, it was a process but I took care of me and my heart in the way I always wanted someone like you to. The way I thought others were suppose to. I finally did it. I did it for me.

I am totally and completely in love with myself. Finally I can look in the mirror and love what I see. With or without you. With or without anyone else. I know what I deserve and by learning this I learned what I could give back to you. I realized I couldn't give to you what I didn't have for myself. Real Love. And Now I can.

My heart wasn't trying to protect me from Love. But she did protect me from continuing down the same road of heartbreak until I could learn the real lesson...the real lesson is that Love begins with me. If I love me, I won't need you to love me. I will just want you to.

And today, Lover, when I saw you... that hopeless romantic that is me, the one who falls in love easily...she did it again. She fell in love, for real...with you.

However, I did tell my heart that I'd listen to her once again before I told you... I asked her what did she want me to see?

She told me that for you, she promised to forget all her fears...I was ready.

When Love Hurts, Is It Really "Love?"

Izzy, darling!

Hellooo, Sugar baby! How are we?

"We" are well. :) What's on the blog list today?

Hmm. "When love hurts, is it really love?"

Interesting!

Indeed. So... let's begin!
Good day, My sweet daffodils, my dandelions, my sweet beings of Divine human light, hehe.
Izzy speaking! Finally. Once again, because my human finally got with the work program :)
I love you, NElise but for real, I'm glad to be heard again and not just in that pretty little head of yours. Our gifts need to be shared. Love needs to soar and if you are our vessel, you can't stay bottled up. We have LOVE to share and create.

Now, today's topic is "When Love Hurts, Is It Really Love?"
Well, My sweet beings, NO! When it hurts, it's not love. The end. heheh.
Well that was a short blog...
Okay, okay. I will elaborate. Love, unconditional L.O.V.E. does not hurt.  Ego hurts. Pride hurts. The mind hurts and causes pain and suffering but LOVE does not. It uplifts, brings life, supports, enriches and considers the other...all that good stuff.
Now, if you are experiencing hurt in a relationship, does that mean this person does not "love" you? Absolutely not. It does not mean that. HOWEVER, it does mean that this person or persons "idea of love" is in some way immature.
They can only love from the level of which they function from. They can only love from their level of growth and experience. This is not wrong. It may just not be right...for you.
Love is vast, expansive, it transcends logic, and sometimes for humans--common sense.
Love's journey is just that...a journey. There is no right or wrong way for a particular human being to experience love. Inevitably , human beings will suffer so long that their journey one day smacks them across the face and says "I've had enough." Until then, we can't blame "Love" for hurting. It doesn't. You hurt you by accepting what doesn't sit right within your soul. For putting up with something that is not right for your highest good.
Just as the yin and yang...the light and the dark...aka: contrast. Aka: your life needs balance to create gratitude and appreciation...so does your love journey.
It doesn't come to hurt you. However, until you know, embrace, accept, and love you...love will teach you somethings. It will teach you hard lessons until you recognize what love is truly trying to teach you.
That is to love YOU unconditionally. Love will teach you what you don't want to experience until you learn what you do. So then and only then can you experience the full effects of the unconditional love you truly deserve.

And Humans! Don't get me wrong! Although love absolutely DOES NOT HURT, It CHALLENGES! Love lifts you up. It supports and requires you to rise to new levels of greatness. Sometimes, when the mind and ego get in the way, it can seem painful. However, it is a different pain. It is a stretching, a shredding of the "old" you and a rebirth of a "new," more experienced and wiser you, which will bring new people and new relationships that lovingly support and challenge you to be great. Any other version of "hurt" is unacceptable.

Love Rises. Love is infinitely loving and supportive, creating a beautiful, fabulous YOU.

Tah Darlings! LOVE YOU, Izzy!
BE Love.BE Beautiful.

www.lovenelise.com

Stagnant Energy- Flow Of Love Channeled Message from IZZY

Izzy!!!

NElise!! 

What is this stagnant energy flow of love business?

Good question, Darling! Stagnant- "Showing no activity; dull and sluggish." Hehe, I thought i'd start with the definition so everyone is completely familiar with the word. "Stagnant" is the theme for this month, my dear NElise, as you are currently familiar with what this period looks like. :)
So today, I'm talking about the stagnant energy flow of love. As you can imagine, this is when love energy is showing no activity. It's dull. Sluggish. And for some, DEAD.
This is not just romantic love but love in general. ALLLLL aspects of the word "love." You may wonder how this happens? How love energy just shuts down and REFUSES to resurface in your life?
You may wonder what it looks like to be without love energy? Well my darlings, it shows up in unhappy, bitter, jaded, heartbroken and left for angry human beings. It may even show up subtly depending on how long stagnant energy has been occurring. 
We need to not focus on matters that make no difference, if you even THINK momentarily that love energy is fading or faded in your current life--If you are even asking could this be me? The answer is unequivocally, undeniably YES.
However, since I want to help you beautiful humans soon greatly, I will do this for you...

You may be suffering from SLE (stagnant love energy) of you are experiencing any of the following symptoms, hehe:

• Reoccurring question about love ACTUALLY existing
• Bitterness
• Negativity
• Peripheral haterism

HAHA, Wait, what!? What is Peripheral haterism, Izzy?

hehe, you like that? Yes, I made it up. 
Peripheral haterism: "The act of glaring at someone in a relationship from a side eye position, judging and or hating on why and how they look happy in the kind of relationship you don't have and wish you did."

LOL! WOW! Nicely done, Izzy.

Hehehe, thank you, Anyway... NEXT...

• Jealousy
• Sadness
• Making untrue comments such as: "I'm done with love. I'm good all by myself, I don't need or want a relationship, I don't want them in my life anyway."

Lord, the list... the list goes on my beautiful HB's. (human beings)

OOOh! And another...

• Worry
• fear 

These are all examples of having or creating stagnant love energy. Now, what do we do about this is the REAL question.

1. Admit- Admit your version of love had/has messed you up, broke you down, hurt your heart.
2. THROW A FIT- Yes, do it! Express those emotions. Get 'em out! Re-live that moment with that person, persons, and lastly yourself. Your suppose to only live it once, but human beings don't. They numb it...try to disappear it in the WRONG way... only to relive it again in future relationships about 100,000 more times. So do yourself a favor, Sweeties...do this the first time! ;) I say to lastly throw a fit with yourself because at the end of every heart break caused by whoever...there is YOU. Somehow blaming yourself unconsciously or maybe consciously for that fool decision you made to give your heart once again to someone who didn't know what to do with it. 
3. NEXT... Blast some music! Your favorite song. Now, this is where I am completely and totally serious... Skip this step, don't complain about my advice not working. BLAST SOME MUSIC...not disturb the peace or the public loud, but shut out the world, I'm in my zone kind of loud. 
4. Dance. If you have a mirror, look at it while you dance. Get lost. Look as foolish as you want. Dance until the greatest moment in your life is being created by you in that exact moment. Allow yourself to laugh and feel free.
5. NEXT...DEAL WITH YOURSELF!

Write down these specific questions and then answer them...The FIRST thought is the only one allowed.

• What do I need to learn about Love?
• What beliefs do I have currently that keep me from giving and receiving love unconditionally?
• What is my love relationship like with myself?
• What do I tell myself, internally, about love?
• How can I improve the quality of love I give to myself?
• What will I commit to ONCE A DAY that promotes loving myself and bringing love to someone else? Even if it's a stranger?

These questions and answers, my dear humans, will give you an inside look at your current relationship with love and perhaps the greatest reason love runs stagnant in your life.

By becoming aware and then committing to actively put positive love energy back into your life, FLOW will begin to naturally occur and bring FABULOUS changes into your life.

It only takes awareness and commitment to change something that is dying, not thriving. 

And when it comes to LOVE that is the most important flow that is vital to human survival.

Love energy is and should always be the primary focus with any and all human connections.

Love saves. Love heals. Love is the breath of life. Love is the heartbeat of humanity. 

Create Love. BE Love. And Love returns the favor.

Tata for now!

Bye Beautifuls!

Love, IZZY- The fairy love guide.

Blossom Where You're Planted

Hello My Lovelies! Izzy speaking. Coming to you about blossoming where you're Planted. Whether your planted temporarily, permanently (or so you think), long term... whether it was wanted, unwanted, wanted and became unwanted, blossom where you're planted.
Life doesn't stop--your life doesn't stop when you are in a season of being planted somewhere that does not seem ideal. It has a purpose. And my sugar dumplings, the purpose is not typically just for you, as a matter of fact, it is almost never just for you. Your life will become vibrant and lively when you give. Give back to more than the people you spend your everyday with. You want to sprout, grow, feel enriched in your everyday? You want to blossom and grow and make a difference in the world? Extend your light to someone or something outside of your everyday interactions. This is how you blossom where you're planted. This is how you become unstuck in the place you think you don't belong. If you're there, you belong, even if its for five minutes. Make the best of your 5 minutes. Be enriched and enrich others. In doing so, you blossom, you grow, you feel good, and you make unexpected friendships with those you otherwise would not have by sulking and being miserable. Everyday ask yourself, Did I enrich and enlighten someone unexpected? How did I feel doing that?Blossom where you're planted and in doing so, where you are going to will come faster than you could ever imagine.
 Toodles, Dolls.
love Izzy

The Casualties of being fabulous and Loving YOU!

Hello Darling, Nicole, and all of our readers. Izzy Speaking.
I am most excited about this experience here today as I have LOTS to say. Lots to say on the casualties of being fabulous and loving YOU!

Now you may be wondering, what in the world that means? Well, I am here to tell you.
Many times, when our beautiful human beings choose to live a life that is wonderful, fabulous, self aware, fully present, concious, and self expressed, you will encounter HATERS. You will encounter dreadful experiences from those who once Loved you. They Loved you until you started to Love Yourself More! When you start to smell the roses of your own wonderful being, those who do not rise with you, will fall away from you. And let's be clear, they do NOT fall easily, My Sweeties. They go down hard, and they go out with a bang. They try to make as much noise and as much commotion, giving you as much guilt as you can possibly take, and that they can give.

If you are not surrounded by like minded beings, they higher you try to fly, the harder those you used to "roll with" will  try to keep you at their level. Fight hard against the ankle weights of relationships that no longer serve you!

Do you know you were created to be fabulous? Prosperous? Abundant? RICH? In every sense of the word... Probably not, But if you don't know, now you know. If you did know, there is always MORE for you to learn. 

Spiritual growth,  LOVE of self, Love in every form, Fabulousness, Greatness, Wisdom...the whole sha bang.. It NEVER plateaus. Not until you are released of that human body and return to the spirit, will your growth and the measurment of how much you are capable of loving, creating, and being, will ever plateau. And when you finally return to the spirit.. You will still grow. We learn forever. 

But not to get distracted, Casualty.. I am talking about those you will lose...those who will be hurt... those who will want to keep you small, those who will try and devower your reputation, confidence, self esteem, and steal your dream because they can't stand that you are doing better than they are. 
Well, word to the wise, my beautiful God souls, You came here to stand apart from the crowd, in order to teach the crowd, if the crowd is anyway less than a reflection of who, what , where and when you are trying to create the BEST life EVER.

Being amazing, fabulous, self aware, confident, is NOT a crime. Only those who think you are full of yourself because they have not reached the peak of being full of themselves will have a problem with you. The moment they have something worth being full of themselves about, they will stop hating on you.

It is not their fault, it is simply the way life works. " Birds of a feather, flock together." There is a reason they have sayings like this... " Miserly loves company."... Sayings like this did not just FALL from the sky, My sweeties. They were created as a guide, a guide to show you from the CREATORS of those fabulous sayings experience... The experience of What happens when you try to fly higher than the crowd you were born into, adapted to, whatever. 

Do not allow Misery, small minded, cynical, bitter, No dream having, human beings to keep you from what you were natually designed to have and BE. FABULOUS. To LOVE the HELL out of yourself...literally... And to LOVE the HELL out of others... literally.

Human beings, especially today, carry Demons. Big Demons. Metaphrorically...AND Literally. The world is a terrible state, althought there is a great shift happening. We need concious, FABULOUS, Loving yourself so much that you can love the world because nothing keeps you from your ecstacy and pure light and joy kind of people. We NEED You! we need you to wake up, Be fabulous, love yourself, so you can PLEASE love all these sleeping, loveless, unaware that they are SO loved, people.

Don't get stuck being a casualty to your own life. Those you lose in the battle of Loving Yourself and changing your life is temporary. It does not have to be permanent! As you become fabulous and live the life of your dreams... ONE of Two things happen...
1) Those who wanted to keep you down will see that they couldn't, see that you made it, and be INFLUENCED by what you were able to accomplish... and then want to seek you out to assist in changing their lives because they can now see it IS really possible for someone who was "just like them."

OR

2) They will be so blinded by pity and jealousy that they will still stay haters AND in that case, Pray for them, wish them goodness, and keep on with your merry, fabulous, loving self.

That is all for Now. Toodles, My fabulous human beings, and sweet loving souls!

BE Love. BE Beautiful.
Love, IZZY as channeled by my fabulous human, NELISE! xoxo

Broken Relationships vs. Whole and Complete Relationships... Channeled from Izzy!

Izzy!! I have a question... I want to have clearer understanding about what unconditional love and relationships is suppose to look like. When you have two people who are self aware...have all the spiritual tools, whole...etc. Can two "broken" people be in successful relationship...? Do you get what I'm saying?...

Duh! Of course I understand what you are saying. I'm spirit. I know everything. well, almost everything... as much as God wants us to know about you humans, and yet...the "truths" I know everything about.  And because you are mine... heheh... well, My human, I know exactly what you are trying to say, even when you don't know how to clearly articulate what you are trying to say hehe.. I have an inside look to how that beautiful brain of yours turns...

Broken relationships vs. Whole and complete relationships...

Yes!

LOL, silly girl.

Silly fairy.

Why Yes, I am. So... to be completely honest. Yes, you can have two "broken" people in a successful relationship. Yet, successful is relative. Success has different meanings to different people.

Yet what you speak of is when each individual is self loving. When you love yourself first, you are better in loving another.
Yet, the term "broken" truly means unhealed... which causes difficulties in relationships... when one or both people carry bagage from their pain...

This makes relationships more challenging and yet the difference in the Self Love vs Broken... is the ability to get through those challenges together. Seeing the big picture of why you are the way you are. A human being is never going to be completely "healed" Healing is like God says, a revolving door. You heal one area and another area comes to be healed. Self love gives you patience, understanding, compassion, and awareness for the "broken" areas. You embrace the "broken" areas.. when you do this you have the ability to love yourself as a whole... not making yourself wrong or someone else wrong for you becoming "broken".

You with me?

Yes.

Good. So, when you have two people who are whole and complete.. it simply means these individuals have the ability to work through their pain and issues with a wider telescope. They see how and why they behave in a particular way and they don't degrade, beat up, or astrasize each other... they have patience, kindness, and unconditional love to work through challenges together. And when you have this type of a relationship, you don't see "problems" you see challenges needing to be overcome. You don't have the typical "Bad relationship" type problems... such as pointless fights with no solution... cheating because of low self esteem and attention seeking... no phsycial or mental abuse... etc.
 You have what is healthy disagreements... which typically end with some sort of compromise... there are no "deal breakers." Typically.

Now in a relationship that is not based on self love first... you have two "broken" people who are completely unaware that anything is wrong with them. So the blame game is real, lol. Fights with no solution. Seeing the others side and perspective to come up with an equal compromise is rare. Each person is filled with expactations of another. They have an idea of what a romantic partner is suppose to "fill" for them and when expecations are broken, the relationship takes a ugly, ugly turn.

So in all actuality.. it is better to have a "whole and complete" relationship... simply meaning... a foundation of Self Love. When you have a foundation of Self love... When you know who you are and what you want out of life, you attract only those that support that within you... you will not settle for someone who you have to school... teach... raise up like a baby... you will attract some equal or even greater than you.

When you are "broken" in the sense that you do not have unconditional self love first. You simply try to do the best you can for another... meanwhile trying to cerebrally work your way through your own garbage... or expecting someone to fill the void that was missing in your last unfortunate relationship.

So, with that... Spirit is a great encourager of SELF LOVE... FIRST! It is less painful... We want you to attract what you deserve... and anything less than total unconditional love for who you are... will only attract someone who treats you less than you truly are and know yourself to be. And you won't even be aware that you are getting the short end of the stick until you are sick and tired of being in pain... crying... "why do I keep choosing_____________" ... you fill in the blank.

You are perfect... everyone of you human beings are amazing and beautiful... so treat yourself like it!
xoxoxo Love ya! Izzy!

www.LoveNElise.com... check it out!

Bad relationships By Izzy, my fairy love guide.

Izzy Darling, it has been a long time. Well, a week really, but I am back.
Time to really get focused now that everything has been established in creating the website. Thank you and God for your assistance in the creation. What would you like to talk about today, we know you always have some lovely thing to say...

AHH, Darling, yes, hello! I alllways have something LOVE-ly to say. I want to talk about bad relationships today!
I chose this because it seems to be the theme in the atomosphere. Ugh, my poor humans. Although you are remarkable in your existance, that pesky mind of yours sometimes allows you humans to do and put up with the most ridiculous things. hehe. But we love you anyway. But as I am the LOVE guide, I am going to help you. And as We fairies have a bit more ego than the head honcho, God, yet we are all about Love and kindness and goodness... our ego is only good. We are brutally honest, extremely Real, and only want to help you.

So this is for my ladies...and men too, but women tend to love my advice more.. this is about BAD realationships...
Now in the world of God, as God sees both sides of the spectrum, things are just "what is"...God does not like many things and yet he understands why people do what they do, say what they say, and he is eternally forgiving and compassionate to all parties..
Us spiritual guides, we clearly see when things are just not right and although we "understand" as well, we help you humans to move ON...God does too, just using a different approach. My approach is to just be completely real in the way human beings can best understand what I am saying.

Bad Relationships... GET OUT OF THEM. Period. You know when things are good and you know when thing are bad... My darlings, move on. Treat yourself better. I have a great philosophy and that is... Love Me, until the end of time. Love Me. Love Me. Love Me.
Now that seems simple, I know. But for you cerebral humans, it is not. You want someone to Love You. Now Love ME. Means You... Love yourself. Until this comes into full affect, you will always be looking for someone to LOVE YOU in a way that you have never felt before. The search for love becomes a dreadful process...Love exists within you. It is not outside of you...so really you are searching for something that needs no search. Just awareness and discovery.

When you are in a BAD relationship, you know its bad, you simply hope something will "change."  You stick around because in MOMENTS you see the person you fell in love with.
Well, the majority of the time you are seeing the person who was actively trying to get the prize. (You as the prize)
Get out. You are worth more than a bad relationship based on moments, history, or what he or she can do for you, that replaces the "bad" moments...like Money.. you know money and security is why many of my darling humans stay in bad relationships. Sweeping their ugly moments under the rug...

The problem my sweeties with this is that you clearly don't have self esteem. And for many in a relationship, this is the greatest, grandest problem in existance. Because women who stand for nothing will fall for everything... and the women who have smarts, yet little self esteem, will know their men are no good for them and play their men like a fiddle, meanwhile sweeping garbage under the rug, because of what "they get" by holding on to the relationship...heheh.  And yet this still takes detrimental chunks out of their natural light because we all know.. no amount of money or things should keep you in a pitiful relationship. Of course, what runs in the mind of my beautiful humans is fear. Fear that they will ruin their family, fear that they cant financial support themselves, fear that their comfortable life will become uncomfortable therefor forcing them to have to work harder, fear that they are too old, too unattractive... too afriad that a new relationship will be too much work.
Uhh the list goes ooon...

Listen My sweeties. Have self worth. Have self esteem. And do not allow that self esteem and self worth to be bought. It's not worth your light. Its not worth years of sweeping garbage under the rug on a hope and a prayer or a brand new purse. God doesnt want this for you and neither do I... And neither would anyone who loves YOU! Really Loves You!

God created you to be fabulous. Beautiful. Strong. A role model. Would you want your daughters to be treated by a man the way that you are treated by one?
Would you want your sons to be the man you are with?

If the answer is No... RUN. Go. Leave.
You will make it without that human being. Find a better human being. The game of life teaches you many lessons and the most repetitive one is human beings trying to find Love with no clue how to love yourself.

And Darlings, if you are one of those women in denial that says "I do love myself" Yet you are STILL in a bad relationship... or keeps Picking up Bad relationships... You don't..YET. No amount of selfies, or quotes stating " I'm waiting for the one who loves my brokeness. Take me as I am" is you loving yourself. It is a fascade of happiness that you are trying to convince yourself of My sweeties. We dont want the fascade ...we want it to be REAL. And the way the world knows its real.. the way YOU know its real, is when the pattern of men you choose, and the pattern of relationships you choose, no longer shows what pitiful, bad, selfish thing that man (hey or woman) did to you. Because what we all want to know is...WHY you keep going back to him then. Do you like Pain?
Wake it up, My sweeties.

The amount of love that God and Spirit has for you is immeasurable. We see your worth, we want you to move on. And LOVE YOU. LOVE YOU until you are sick of your own fabulousness, heheh.
Until you make other people sick of your fabulousness... not sad for your pitiful relationship. You don't need sympathy, you need a swift kick in that precious booty. Raise your vibration and attract what you deserve.

Love you, My beautifuls.

BE Love. Be Beautiful.
Love Izzy... channeled by that beautiful human, NElise.

www.LoveNElise.com... check it out!