Healing Your Past Relationships For The Future Of Your New One. A Letter to The Ex.

To the Ex:

lt's not that I didn't love you. I did. I loved you with every piece of me that I could give to you at that time. I loved you the only way I knew how to love. And at that time, I didn't know any better. I didn't know there was any other way to love. I thought that the love we had was all there was.

" How did we fail when we loved each other so much?" You asked me this once. It's not just your fault you know?... Although, I didn't know it then.

What I didn't realize was I could give so much more. I could love so much deeper. 

What I didn't realize was that I couldn't give to you, what I hadn't yet given to myself.

 I couldn't give to you what I didn't even know was missing from me.

I know me better now. I see it very clearly.
I loved you. I still love you, just differently now. 

I love you for the times we had.

 I love you for being my greatest lesson. 

I love you for loving me the best way you knew how.

 I love you for helping me grow. 

I love you for being the reason I learned to love myself (even though we didn't know that's what was happening at the time.)

 I love you for so many reasons.

Without our relationship, I may have repeated the same mistakes over and over.
Loving you, you loving me, in the only way we knew how to love, unknowingly led me to the path of loving myself.

God, it hurt. And that hurt broke me, but it broke me in every way I needed to be broken, so I could be put back together in all the right ways.

What I realize is... I'll never take away from what we had for that time. It was real. As real as it could be. 

But until I became real with myself, love myself, appreciate my journey, embrace my heart ache, my mistakes...my human imperfection, and learn to love Me anyhow...I couldn't truly love myself, and I couldn't love you, in the way you would have needed me to love you in order for us to work.

Until I knew what love really was, what it was really made out of, and what I was truly made of, I expected you to take care of me in ways that only I could have  taken care of me.
And I didn't know why I wasn't being taken care of.

I didn't know you didn't have the capacity to be what I wanted or what I thought I needed.
I expected you to be something, I now know, you could never have been...not because of me but because of you. 

And I didn't know that trying to get you to be who you weren't ready to be wasn't fair to you or to me.

I didn't have what it took to continue fighting for us. 

To stay when it continued to get harder. 

To pray more when it felt more impossible by the day.

 I didn't have what it took to stand up for myself and to stand strong in my convictions for what I truly deserved because I didn't know what I truly deserved.
I expected you to know.
I expected you to see that I deserved better than what you gave me.
I expected that if I could change for you, make you happy, give you everything I had that you would be capable of doing the same for me in return. 

That you would see I was worth the love I always dreamt of...

Not knowing the love I always dreamt of was already in me. It was me. So I looked to you to validate me. Tell me I was doing a good job. But it never happened.
You weren't capable.

 I was just left depleted.
And I hated you for not treating me well. I blamed you for not knowing how to treat me.

But really, I blamed myself for not knowing how to treat me.
I blamed myself for staying so long.
I blamed myself for not seeing my own worth.

And now I know, I've always been worth everything. Without having to prove it.

I now know, it wasn't just your fault.

Through all that we went through, which is just as important, I realized I didn't have what it took to be strong for you, and your brokenness and unhealed areas, because I wasn't strong enough for myself yet. And for that I am sorry.

But you know what? That is okay. 

Why?

Because we weren't meant to last.

You were meant to prepare me.  

And I can only hope, that you know, I prepared you too...if you allow it. 

And perhaps that was the greatest purpose for our coming together.

 To heal each other and prepare each other.

Perhaps, we prepared each other for the one meant to last.

We didn't know it then, But I know it now...  you were the seeds that were planted in my now beautiful garden. 

The garden of my strength, my healing, and my undeniable self love.

Not to say I won't keep growing. Not to say new lessons won't come about. And not to say new areas that need to heal won't show themselves.
But because of us, I learned to do the work. 

I learned to be strong for myself. 

And now I have what it takes to be strong for someone else.

I learned my value and what I have to offer.

 I learned what I deserve and I learned to give it to myself first.
I learned when it's time to walk away and when it's time to stay.

And most importantly, I learned to hold the space for someone else and their broken pieces because I learned to hold the space for my own. 

And because of this, I will choose the one that is able to hold the space for mine as well. And we will be able to grow together.

And the good news is, if you learn from Us, you will do the same.
So thank you for the role you played in my life. 

Thank you for loving me the only way you knew how.
I love you. And can say goodbye to the past and say hello to the future without fear.
Love Always, NElise

You see, relationships are always going to teach you something.Some relationships will be life altering. They are created and designed from the heavens to be this way. It is always about healing and growth. When you love someone so much and have a connection so deep with them, you try to love them even through the pain you are feeling. You don't even understand why you can't let go, don't want to let go, even when you have to.
Sometimes you won't let go until letting go is the only option left....usually because you've allowed the relationship to get to a place of dislike or worse.

 In my case, especially, this was a soul mate connection. Soul mates come to be a mirror for you. They come to unveil all of your hidden wounds. They tend to be like you more than you're even willing to admit.
But it doesn't have to end badly. If you learn. 

Learning, healing, and rising is the only thing that makes your heartache worth it.

BE Love.

 Because love is the only thing that heals. 

Love people for who they were and why you loved them to begin with. 

Set them free in love and set yourself free to love again, so you can love the one meant to stay.

Bad relationships By Izzy, my fairy love guide.

Izzy Darling, it has been a long time. Well, a week really, but I am back.
Time to really get focused now that everything has been established in creating the website. Thank you and God for your assistance in the creation. What would you like to talk about today, we know you always have some lovely thing to say...

AHH, Darling, yes, hello! I alllways have something LOVE-ly to say. I want to talk about bad relationships today!
I chose this because it seems to be the theme in the atomosphere. Ugh, my poor humans. Although you are remarkable in your existance, that pesky mind of yours sometimes allows you humans to do and put up with the most ridiculous things. hehe. But we love you anyway. But as I am the LOVE guide, I am going to help you. And as We fairies have a bit more ego than the head honcho, God, yet we are all about Love and kindness and goodness... our ego is only good. We are brutally honest, extremely Real, and only want to help you.

So this is for my ladies...and men too, but women tend to love my advice more.. this is about BAD realationships...
Now in the world of God, as God sees both sides of the spectrum, things are just "what is"...God does not like many things and yet he understands why people do what they do, say what they say, and he is eternally forgiving and compassionate to all parties..
Us spiritual guides, we clearly see when things are just not right and although we "understand" as well, we help you humans to move ON...God does too, just using a different approach. My approach is to just be completely real in the way human beings can best understand what I am saying.

Bad Relationships... GET OUT OF THEM. Period. You know when things are good and you know when thing are bad... My darlings, move on. Treat yourself better. I have a great philosophy and that is... Love Me, until the end of time. Love Me. Love Me. Love Me.
Now that seems simple, I know. But for you cerebral humans, it is not. You want someone to Love You. Now Love ME. Means You... Love yourself. Until this comes into full affect, you will always be looking for someone to LOVE YOU in a way that you have never felt before. The search for love becomes a dreadful process...Love exists within you. It is not outside of you...so really you are searching for something that needs no search. Just awareness and discovery.

When you are in a BAD relationship, you know its bad, you simply hope something will "change."  You stick around because in MOMENTS you see the person you fell in love with.
Well, the majority of the time you are seeing the person who was actively trying to get the prize. (You as the prize)
Get out. You are worth more than a bad relationship based on moments, history, or what he or she can do for you, that replaces the "bad" moments...like Money.. you know money and security is why many of my darling humans stay in bad relationships. Sweeping their ugly moments under the rug...

The problem my sweeties with this is that you clearly don't have self esteem. And for many in a relationship, this is the greatest, grandest problem in existance. Because women who stand for nothing will fall for everything... and the women who have smarts, yet little self esteem, will know their men are no good for them and play their men like a fiddle, meanwhile sweeping garbage under the rug, because of what "they get" by holding on to the relationship...heheh.  And yet this still takes detrimental chunks out of their natural light because we all know.. no amount of money or things should keep you in a pitiful relationship. Of course, what runs in the mind of my beautiful humans is fear. Fear that they will ruin their family, fear that they cant financial support themselves, fear that their comfortable life will become uncomfortable therefor forcing them to have to work harder, fear that they are too old, too unattractive... too afriad that a new relationship will be too much work.
Uhh the list goes ooon...

Listen My sweeties. Have self worth. Have self esteem. And do not allow that self esteem and self worth to be bought. It's not worth your light. Its not worth years of sweeping garbage under the rug on a hope and a prayer or a brand new purse. God doesnt want this for you and neither do I... And neither would anyone who loves YOU! Really Loves You!

God created you to be fabulous. Beautiful. Strong. A role model. Would you want your daughters to be treated by a man the way that you are treated by one?
Would you want your sons to be the man you are with?

If the answer is No... RUN. Go. Leave.
You will make it without that human being. Find a better human being. The game of life teaches you many lessons and the most repetitive one is human beings trying to find Love with no clue how to love yourself.

And Darlings, if you are one of those women in denial that says "I do love myself" Yet you are STILL in a bad relationship... or keeps Picking up Bad relationships... You don't..YET. No amount of selfies, or quotes stating " I'm waiting for the one who loves my brokeness. Take me as I am" is you loving yourself. It is a fascade of happiness that you are trying to convince yourself of My sweeties. We dont want the fascade ...we want it to be REAL. And the way the world knows its real.. the way YOU know its real, is when the pattern of men you choose, and the pattern of relationships you choose, no longer shows what pitiful, bad, selfish thing that man (hey or woman) did to you. Because what we all want to know is...WHY you keep going back to him then. Do you like Pain?
Wake it up, My sweeties.

The amount of love that God and Spirit has for you is immeasurable. We see your worth, we want you to move on. And LOVE YOU. LOVE YOU until you are sick of your own fabulousness, heheh.
Until you make other people sick of your fabulousness... not sad for your pitiful relationship. You don't need sympathy, you need a swift kick in that precious booty. Raise your vibration and attract what you deserve.

Love you, My beautifuls.

BE Love. Be Beautiful.
Love Izzy... channeled by that beautiful human, NElise.

www.LoveNElise.com... check it out!